Last Day.

The LAST DAY..

Hey Hey…. Hope everything is good with you… everything has been going well Liam is over here up at 1:30 in the morning being extremely annoying. We took a nap earlier and now we just over here up. I was expecting to hear from you today. Lol it’s starting to become clear that I need to stop expecting. Well I’m gonna keep it pretty simple tonight just wanted to let you know that I love you. I hope this journal thing isn’t doing to much. It feels like I’m talking to air when I wanna talk to you. Sometime i even ask my self is this how love is suppose to feel…. it’s like I’m in a reality of wanting better for us but at the same time still accepting that I pushed you away. Who knows this diary might one day explain who i really am as a person…. I think everyday who I’m becoming. 90% is confident that I will be the best man for everyone around me…. But as a healing man believe it or not the 10% percent is more scarier….. if i dig deep within the doubt of myself, i see myself giving up…. It’s scary. Love is just scary…. I’m a overthinker, space from you makes its easier and difficult at the same time. But this is not my Honey… and as i heal I’m starting to realize more that I have to fight the biggest battle of my life and that’s for you….. never has anyone in my life put this type of affect on me…. And me becoming more vulnerable is just…. I can sit here and say I don’t like this all day…. But that will never change anything. It’s hard to come to this journal everyday with out over thinking. But i always make sure i end my journal with my love for you and prayer…. I really hope my love for you can be manifested. Because I do love you. Just hope it’s not too late for you to see… love you honey goodnight….

It’s crazy i have to come back here at 4:51am…. This boy did not want to go to sleep … soooo i decided to do a late night drive only around my moms neighborhood of course. I played baby soft tunes hoping he would go to sleep… but he too real for that lol but yeah just thought i would come back and tell you i love you goodnight or good morning whichever ….